I'm not one of those people that gets super excited about their birthday. I generally try to celebrate each day of life, so in a sense birthdays are no more special than any other day. In fact, I don't recall many special birthday moments. I think this is due, in part, to the fact that the memories we hold on to most are the painful ones. At first this seems counter intuitive. Why would we cling to the painful memories instead of the pleasant ones? Actually, we are programmed to hold the things that hurt us (in Sanskrit, these are samskaras - mental impressions stuck within our subtle body) so that we can heal those old wounds. This is where our growth in life comes from.
So, I have started thinking of my birthday as a day of rebirth. This year, I allowed myself (almost) a complete day of doing exactly whatever I wanted, spending several hours reading Anatomy of the Spirit (I highly recommend it), by Caroline Myss, on cakras 2 and 3. I have spent the past several months tired and worn out due to saying “yes” when I needed to say “no,” and from not taking that deep rest and down time that I needed and deserved. There are always lessons to be learned, and that is what makes life worth living. In the book, Caroline Myss mentions stories in which clients had to "call back their spirits into their body." I realized that I needed to do this. Or more correct, I needed to unbury my spirit from the pile of "real world junk" that she was buried under. My energy was running low and I was struggling because I could no longer hear my spirit guiding me. She was buried because I momentarily lost sight of what was really important in life – being in this world, not of it.
Getting lost is so easy to do, even for people who have strong yoga and meditative practices – present company included.
After reading, I drew a bath and laid in the tub (it was a day where I got to do whatever I wanted) where I reconnected to my spirit. I allowed myself to release years of patterns that were no longer serving me. (Note: I can only let go of the ones that I am aware of. Meditation takes care of some, and then as life unfolds, still more patterns will become clear, so I can learn, work through, and release those. It's never ending.) But for now, I could feel the life force once again moving within my body. I am reborn and ready for this new year of my life.
Another happy rebirth-day.
Have you ever felt disconnected from your spirit? How do you keep yourself connected?
Jenn White, Yoga Educator, Meditation Teacher, and Owner of Embodied Bliss, began her journey of yoga and meditation in 2004 while recovering from a back injury. Feeling lost, restless and seeking something more from life, she found her path through meditation.
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